Help your toddler express his interests or meet his goals in an acceptable way. You want to stay longer at the playground, but it is not okay to hit mommy. Use words to show that your child that you understand what he wants to do: You want to play with the water, but you can not spill the water from your sippy cup on the floor. It takes thousands of repetitions, hearing the words together with the actions, before the words alone will work their magic. Keep in mind your toddler may not respond the first or even the second time. At the same time, use a “stop” or “no-no” gesture along with your words. To help your child understand your message, use a low, authoritative (not angry or screaming) voice. This is because your toddler’s ability to show self-control is limited. Words alone may not be enough to get your toddler to stop an unacceptable activity. Use words and gestures to communicate your message. These are all ingredients for being a successful in school and life. They are opportunities for you to teach your child right from wrong, to respect rules, to cope with disappointment, and to find acceptable ways to get their needs met. Though it’s natural to dread those moments your toddler “loses it” or behaves in a way that is not acceptable to you (like throwing a block or hitting a sibling), it may help to remember that these are important learning experiences as well. Set and enforce clear and consistent limits.ĭaily life provides active toddlers with many opportunities to cope with challenges, negotiate, problem-solve, lose control and regain it.
#ALTERNATIVES TO SELFCONTROL FULL#
Setting limits also helps toddlers learn to manage disappointment-an essential life skill-since for better or worse, life is full of little and sometimes big frustrations.
This lets children know what to expect, which makes them feel safe, secure and in control-key ingredients for social and emotional well-being. But they still do not have the full ability to stop themselves from doing something, even though they have been told it is unacceptable.Īt this stage, setting and enforcing rules consistently becomes very important and is a gift you give to your child. They are beginning to understand what is and is not acceptable and can anticipate the consequences of their actions. Older toddlers are making great strides in developing self-control but still have a ways to go to learn to manage their impulses in appropriate ways. Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health.